Don’t Move to Seattle

Seattleites are amazing.

New Yorkers think the world starts and ends in New York.

Chicagoans talk to much bullshit.

Angelenos (aka L.A.-They don’t even get a cool nick name) are so fake it makes Kraft macaroni and cheese organic.

Our city was named after a Native American Chief- so take your re-established European city copy-cat name and shove it.

We are the creators of

Microsoft: Check

Starbucks: Check

Boeing: Check

Amazon: Check

Expedia: Check

Nintendo: Yes, their HQ resides here. Check

Costco: Check

Cinnabon: Check

PopCap: Check

What world dominating companies are from your city?

Jim Caviezel is from Seattle. Yeah, he played Jesus.

We grew up listening to our neighbors, Pearl Jam, Jimi Hendrix, Nirvana, Alice and Chains, Soundgarden, Bing Crosby, Fleet Foxes, Foo Fighters, Modest Mouse, Sir Mix-a- Lot, Heart, Macklemore and every other Seattle band that started ‘an era of music.’ Jimi Hendrix and Bruce Lee are buried here.

We have a glass garden, a laser dome, an ancient city under our streets.

We never heard of Budlight because our micro brews are more plentiful than plastic surgery in California.

We have poisonous spiders called FiddleBacks. That’s right- our spiders play the freaking fiddle.

We may not speak Ivy League in Washington State, but our universities can drink your khaki wearing, brown nosing, rich mugs under the bus. Go Cougs.

We accept gays because we believe that equality still exists

We also accept marijuana- because we believe that peace and love exists

When it rains, we don’t use umbrellas. We have North Face hoodies (Thanks California- West coast for life)

We can stare at towering skyscrapers, see the Ocean, and look at snow capped mountains all at the same time.

Growing up we hiked, biked, rollerbladed, and watched the native Salmon spawn every year.

We have a rainforest. A RAINFOREST.

Plus, we have Orcas. And the door to Narnia is probably here too.

We are the most underestimated city in America, and we would like to keep it that way so all you New Yorkers, Chicagoans and Angelinoersez don’t move here.